Dive into the blog to learn all about different strategies to support your girls, build their confidence, and help them embrace the idea of 'community over competition' while they're young!   Plus, since we know that our girls are watching our every move (!!), how can we not talk about things like self-care and personal growth?   We're all in this together, mama!


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June 1, 2020

3 Tips for Strengthening Mindset & Confidence in Young Girls

Hey mama!! I think it’s safe to say we all want our girls to thrive and learn to make confident choices! Agreed? A positive mindset forms the basis for growing confidence. What if we could help them ‘train their brains’ at a young age to support a healthy mindset, all with just little daily tweaks? Guess what – we can. And these tweaks don’t have to be complicated to make a lasting impact – let’s keep it simple!

Let’s imagine… Your young daughter comes home from school. She bursts into tears, then tells you all about how she got a less than stellar mark on a test, didn’t understand the math assignment, had an argument with one of her friends at lunch and then walked the schoolyard by herself all recess. Heartbreaking, right? And it’s only September!!

These are the big things when they’re this age. These are the things that can be devastating to little hearts and minds and can leave a lasting impression. And while everyone needs to experience this to grow and learn, we can empower our daughters so that these types of things aren’t devastating, but are more like bumps in the road.

How do we do this? I’ve got 3 easy ways to start:

  1. Show them they they are in control.
  2. Teach them to focus on the positive.
  3. Train their inner voice.

Grow their Confidence by Giving them Control

Let’s be real – kids don’t have control of much these days, do they? Whether they’re at home or at school, kids are pretty much told what they can and can’t do, what they can eat, what they can watch and where they can go. While this is all for good reason, it doesn’t leave them in control of much! We can show them they do have control and empower them to make decisions.

One of the most powerful things that we can teach them to control is the type of information they are ‘allowing in’ to their minds. We can show them:

  • How to differentiate between what is feeding their minds and helping them to grow, and what is not,
  • How different types of information makes them feel
  • That they are in control of the information they consume

Have these conversations! Being able to determine if information is making them feel good, helping them to question the world around them, think critically, and feel grateful about what is abundant in their lives, is a huge step towards a healthy mindset. This means they will be able to toss out information that makes them feel ‘not good enough,’ sad, anxious, or doesn’t teach them anything worthwhile. This is huge, mama! Confidence building! The ability to control the information they consume, and therefore their mindset and feelings, will become increasingly important as our girls navigate issues like body image, peer pressure and friendships.

Focus on the Positive

A mighty task, even for us! The more we can get our girls to focus on the positive and the more gratitude they learn to express, the more positivity they will find in their days and the more they will automatically find to be grateful for. Can you see the dominoes falling?

But…we can’t just tell them to do this. They have to practice it!

  • So get out those sticky notes and get your girls to jot down 3 things they are grateful for every day, each one on a separate piece of paper.
  • Post them on their wall, stick them in a journal, or fill up a jar.
  • Once every few days, have them go back & look over everything they’ve written down.

Getting your girls to focus on what is going right in their worlds can train their brains to look for the good. And there are no limits on what it can be – the bike ride she went on, the new book she started, the chat she had with her bff, the marshmallow roast she had last night. No restrictions! As she continues to practice this, she’ll likely want to write down more than 3 things every day. Success!! She will also see the jar or the journal fill up or the wall become covered with everything she has to be grateful for. This is an amazing visual for them! (and you too, of course).

Train their Inner Voice

This is one of my favorites! Our inner voice is one of the most powerful voices that will speak to us throughout our lives. We all have that inner voice that we need to quash now and then, right? The one that’s full of negative self-talk, the one that makes us question ourselves. The words we speak to ourselves can be transformative! If we can get our girls to recognize that their inner voice has a significant impact on their own self-worth and the way they see the world around them, we can help them shift their outlook and their focus when needed through the words they use.

Remember when your daughter came home from school and burst into tears and told you it was the worst day of her life? Believe me, we’ve had several ‘worst days ever’ around here!

  • Instead of telling herself it was the worst day of her life, have her try to shift her thinking by changing her words.
  • Try something like “Today wasn’t great, but tomorrow will be a better day” or “Today was hard but I’m strong and I got through it!”

These simple tweaks still acknowledge that it wasn’t a great day for her but changes the focus to growth and opportunity. The opportunity of a new day, the growth of getting through a tough day – both of which will grow their confidence.

Mindset is a work in progress and this young age is such an incredible opportunity to start. If you’d like to join my community and get weekly tips and inspiration centered around supporting our girls through girlhood, come and follow me on Instagram and join my email list. I’d love to have you!

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